Kiki Wynns

Drew interviews the "Beyonce of Comedy", Kiki Wynns who is a comedian based out of North Carolina, a doctor, and the producer of the national comedy show sensation, Ladies Laugh Lounge.   

In this interview, among many other topics, we talk about her amazing show (which is coming to Nashville), the psychological benefits to laughing, and Kiki's top 3 desserts.

This episode is a real Wynn!

For Comedy,

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For Psychology,

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

You're the Beyonce of comedy. It's sound like true.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Let's get that trending. Okay. When you publicize this podcast, Kiki, aka the Beyonce of Comedy.

SPEAKER_03 0:12

I love that. Welcome back to Clean Comedy Chats. I'm your host, Drew Davis, and I'm so happy you guys are here with us for another week. We have another comedian for another conversation. If you're new here, just a quick update. This is Clean Comedy Chats. This is a podcast from the Clean Comedy Collective. We are a virtual comedy network with comedians all across the country. I believe we're current our current roster is about 206 comedians from all across the country. And so each week uh I bring a new friend uh to come chat with. Some of them I know very well. Some of them, honestly, it's like this is our first conversation. Uh, I'm joined today with uh by Kiki wins. Kiki, I'm sorry, I almost I don't know what I was gonna call you, uh, but I mixed your name.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

You got it though. And you put some guests on there, which is important.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Yeah, you Kiki wins. She's always winning. She's she's just a winner so much that they named her that. So uh but Kiki's from North Carolina and Raleigh, North Carolina, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Yes, that's right. Um, and so we're excited to have her. Um, before we get into the interview, I should probably tell you guys the sales pitch. Uh, uh, if you want to learn more about the Clean Comedy Collective, go to our website, which is cleancomedycollective.com. That's where you can see all of our comedians from whichever state you want to check out. That's a great way to discover your new favorite comedian. Um, also, we have shows all across the state, so you can see more about that. In fact, Kiki's running a show for us in Nashville. She's gonna be talking about during our podcast. Um, there's an option to donate and join the Patreon so you can uh get full longer episodes, full interviews. We always just post the free ones or just an hour, but sometimes we have longer conversations. Uh, and sometimes there's a lot of great content that you'll never know you missed, even unless you get it. So we'd love for you to check that out. And lastly, if you're a comedian and you and you work clean and you want to learn more about working with the Clean Comedy Collective, we have a submission section and we would love for you to check it out. So uh that being said, uh I want to introduce you guys to our guest today, Kiki Wins, and he and I'm gonna read a short bio, but then you all know how we do. Then we go beyond the bio. So Dr. Kristen Kiki Wins is a PhD clinical psychologist who turned who turned a bet and an open mic into two in 2002 into a fast-rising stand-up comedy career. Kiki is open for Craig Schumacher multiple times, performed it from Los Angeles to New York City, and is the creator and headliner of the hit show Ladies Laugh Lounge at Goodnight's Comedy Club in Raleigh, which is now branching out of North Carolina and going all across the U.S. Her mission is simple elevate women in comedy and prove that sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. So we'll be talking about all that in her interview today. I'm very excited, very happy to be joined with Kiki. Uh and Kiki, uh, before we get into all the good stuff, uh beyond the bio, who is Kiki Wins?

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Whoa, well, first of all, can I just say our family motto for our last name is you can't lose with wins. I love it. So how amazing is that?

SPEAKER_03 3:26

That's great. What a positive like that. That is how you like breed winners, is with a motto like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

That's right. Well, yeah, that is a great question. Who is Kiki Wins? It's funny. I just was meeting with uh somebody today for like a networking thing. She runs a school and she was hearing all the things I do where I'm a psychologist, I could, I'm a comedian, I'm a speaker, I'm a mom of two, where my babies have flown the nest, but they're still young, you know, 22 and 20. So they're still around. Yeah, got a husband, the dog, a social life. So I was telling her, like, I just believe in packing as much into life as you can. And I'm also super intentional with my time, where I do a lot. I do love life. I love to have fun and I love to just uh really see, you know, what gifts I've been given with speaking and making people laugh and helping others and just seeing how much of that I can do. But I am intentional with carving out time and trying not to just waste time just mindlessly scrolling the internet or doing the social media thing. If I'm gonna be hanging out with you or taking a walk or exercising or writing a set, then I'm just gonna be intentional with that time. And I also believe we should all get enough sleep. So I'm not sacrificing my sleep either. I like my solid eight to nine hours if I can get it. So lots of people.

SPEAKER_03 5:00

I was like, can you really get eight hours of sleep? That's such a hard thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

I can, I can. And with this time change, you know, I can flirt with the nine, nine and a half hours. I I'm a good sleeper, except for when I wake up at 4 a.m. stressed out about something. But other than that, I'm a really good sleeper.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

I love that. I've I almost uh I agree with everything you said because like I do think using your time intentionally and to a degree, especially I don't know if you've ever or someone's told you because it sounds like you have a pretty good handle if it's like, oh man, I I wish I had the time, or I just don't have the time, or I'm too busy to do that. But I mean, uh we make our own schedules. We we we if we're too busy, we can fix that, you know. Uh, and especially in comedy, when I work with newer comedians, uh and especially the busy ones, the ones with families, the fun ones with kids. Uh, you know, we talk about the importance of you kind of have to make time to go do comedy. Like you, you know, don't do it in a way where you give up your family, but like at some point you have to say, This is this is the time when I'm gonna go out, and respect that. But I I haven't mastered the eight hours of sleep yet. I um uh we're we're at a we're at a four to four to six, four to six is and and I feel like that's fine, but that is skimpy. The first thing I want to know about you is uh in your bio and on your website, uh I would love to hear more about the bet that got you into stand-up comedy. That sounds like a fun story, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Well, the bet came after flirting around with some comedy classes. So my my big story of how I got into comedy, period, from being a successful psychologist for decades and being already pretty busy running a private practice with multiple locations and all that. But 2021, um, I was a bit stressed out and anxious and burned out um because of this uh little pesky thing called COVID.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

So yeah, that got that got under a lot of people's skin.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

I know it was so irritating. Like, go away, pandemic. So I did take an improv comedy class just for self-care. I was like, I'm gonna do something fun and creative and different. So I took an improv comedy class, loved it. Then that led to taking a stand-up class and realizing my style is more fit for standup. I'm a writer at heart and I love to control the narrative and I don't mind being on a stage. I always joke and say, I don't mind the spotlight aimed right at me.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Right. I feel that.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Yeah, yeah. So I kind of morphed into that and then fast forward to that next year, summer of 2022. My best friend um and my husband were two of the most supportive people for this comedy thing because my whole life I've been funny. I love to deliver the line in a party or in a group, uh, sitting around the dinner table and getting the laugh. Um, I would love, even with my staff, to be the silly one doing pranks. So I'd always been a funny person, but that summer, my best friend and husband and her husband and I, we played trivia every week. So they were like, When are you gonna do an open mic? When are you gonna do an open mic? And I was like, I'm scared, I don't know. So that led to a bet that if I did one, just a four-minute open mic, then they would go camping with us one weekend. And I'm like a major um quality time love language person. It's in a three-way tie with words of affirmation and touch. So my husband out of five.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

That's like you're almost like, yeah, I'm in all the love languages. And I bet you don't mind you don't mind gifts either.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Like, and and and I don't mind those or acts of service. Yeah. But she knew my best friend knew that a whole weekend away when when they hadn't promised me that they would do it would be motivating. So that uh gave me just enough uh incentive to do what I still say is the scariest thing I've ever done. And I am adrenaline junkie. I love to do thrilling physical feats, and in my day job as a psychologist, I would do TV news interviews that would be live, and it's just like one take and you have to do it, or testify in court. I would I knew scary stuff, but that first open mic behind the stage, just waiting to go out. I was so scared, and I just thought I might just fall apart and melt. But I did it, I got the camping weekend, and then I was off and running into comedy.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

That's a good so and and in your your first one that you were so scared about, uh, did that one go so well where it like made you excited about the rest, or was it just as scary as you anticipated and you still did it though?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

It went extraordinarily well, actually. I mean, I had I had gone to some open mics to watch them and see what it was like, and I knew this is no disparagement, but you know, like in the open mic world, you have the people that are like reading their note cards and like, wait, what was I gonna say here? And sometimes it's painful, but I had my memorized, it was a tight four, it was really well received, and then part of my Cinderella story, as I call it, after just three of those open mics at Raleigh Improv, then they reached out to me to book me for a paid gig.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

And I was like, Oh, that's awesome!

SPEAKER_01 10:33

What? And I would ask the other comedians I was starting to be friendly with, like, so is this how it works? And they were like, No, no, not usually. So it was really cool early affirmation that I had something.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

But you know, and you know, I you you had something, and you know, now looking back as a producer, as I as I probably do, sometimes when you're at those open mics, when you're watching people, you can't really explain it, but like you can tell the people that they're new, but they're gonna be good, right? You can just you can there's a there's a and I I can say this as someone who teaches comedy, there's a thing that you can't really teach that sometimes you see, and to me, that's what I'm like when I see someone newer, I'm like, let me give them a five or ten minute spot on my show. That they look like they're they look like that would help them grow. Uh, sometimes you see people and it's it's not there yet, and then you keep you see them practicing and keeping going and stuff like that, and then later you're like, Well, maybe it's there, but for some reason, there's just a few that you you can tell it. The the the it, whatever it is, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

It's so true. I actually just had one of those. Um, I just had a women's lake retreat for aspiring comedians, writers, just entrepreneurs, women that just wanted to level up. And one lady there, she had taken um a couple comedy classes, but never started in the circuit yet. But she kept making me laugh out loud all weekend. Her presence and her quick wit and her delivery. I was like, you have got something. So I've booked her to be on my next big show, my next big ladies' life, which I know we haven't talked about yet. But I just was like, I've never done this before, but I would like for you to be in my next big comedy show, and I'm gonna have her do some guest spots to get ready. But she had that, that is just like once you see it, you know it's gotta be the whole package energy, delivery, yep, creativity, the content. It's like checking lots of box boxes actually to make a successful comedian. It's way harder than people realize, but she had it.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Very true. Let's let's talk about Ladies Laugh Lounge for a bit. Let's talk about you. You have this amazing show, you've done it several times at Goodnight's Comedy Club. You're you're bringing it here to Nashville. Uh, have you and I have you done it uh other places in North Carolina or other places in the country yet? Uh tell just tell me everything.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Okay, yeah. Well, so we haven't left the state yet. That's why I'm super excited about Nashville. But again, I I do feel very blessed that somehow, just right place, right time, um, I started to have successes. And and that's also part of um that very first paid gig at Raleigh Improv, uh, where a sweet talked my way into the green room to talk to Craig Shoemaker and ended up opening for him. So we can talk about that too. But similar with Ladies Laugh Lounge, um I had done the North Carolina's funniest competition. Uh I think two years in a row at Goodnight's Comedy Club. And then I'd gone to some of their open mics. So they had started to see me, and I think even though I never won that, still want a woman to win that sometime. I got on their radar. So I was just talking to one of the managers there, and he was offering me an opportunity to do a show there and see how it goes. And he actually said, like, we're open to your ideas. What do you want to do? So at the time I had two ideas, one for like a mental health type show where other mental health comedians or people that joked about mental health could do a show or women. So then uh I was like, uh let's do women because at that point I'd already started to understand that we are grossly underrepresented in comedy. The statistic I share at my shows is 27% of stand-up comedians are women, so we're still the minority. And I noticed that it was hard to get stage time as a woman, that sometimes I would think I was just as talented, if not more, than some of the guys that were getting stage time. So I had uh an idea to do an all-female lineup. I would headline and it would be a themed show and just see how it goes. So that first show, Ladies Left Lounge, debut in August 2024, only two years into doing comedy, sold out in like a week of um advertising. Now that was in Goodnight's smaller room. They have a smaller room and then mainstage. So that was thrilling though, like being a pretty new comedian and having this idea with all female um comedy show. So then after that, it's just been moving, getting promoted to the main stage at Goodnight's the big room, which holds probably a few hundred people, like maybe 300, I think, or or so, maybe 350. Um, so now since then we've had four more shows on the uh main stage, all different um themes. Like I have my spooky show in October where everybody dresses up in costumes. I had Galantines where people wore pink and red. We're coming up on our sixth show there, spring fever, where it's leaning in to just like get all your girls for the best, like cruise or tropical vacation where you're gonna be able to do that. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, have your fun tropical drink. So every time I like to say it's it's not just a comedy show, it's an experience. So I don't know if I meant to if I should have been like Beyoncé or something, but I love to have music going.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

You're the you're the Beyoncé of comedy, it sounds like true.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Let's get that trending, okay? When you when you publicize this podcast, Kiki, aka the Beyonce of Comedy of Comedy.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

I love that. Hashtag Beyonce of comedy. Make it make it a thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Yes, I love it, but I really like to make my shows have theater. So, like my Galantine show, I came out on stage wearing a white uh fur coat over my red dress, and I had talked two of the security guys into coming on stage with me, acting really serious with their arms crossed like they were guarding me. And then as I came up to the mic, one of them came behind me and took off my uh white fur coat like it was Beyoncé or Celine Dion.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

That's amazing. What if yeah, I mean, that's just so much fun. That is that that is definitely an experience, you know?

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Yeah, and and you know, the standard comedy show with an opener, a feature, a headliner, everybody has the mic, this bump, that's fine. I love those, but I just I'm excited that I can have something different with some theatrical flair and give different women a chance to shine. I've had now six times five women, and sometimes I have repeats, but to give up and comers or establish women, but they've never performed in a big comedy club. I love to share the love, give women a chance to shine, and then just really have it be an opportunity to embrace women supporting women. So I really I tap into my business networks. Uh, like, hey, can you come out and support the show and get people to come with their colleagues, their family, their besties? It's just a good time. And now I have taken that show a few other places in North Carolina to answer your question, like you know, a vineyard and uh another comedy club outside of the triangle, but never cross the state line. So coming to Nashville will be the first time we're gonna take it to Nashville, and what I love about it is it's like a it's a uh copyable template. Now I have some of your top female comedians in Nashville in my lineup so this idea can be replicated, I'm hoping, all over where it gives yeah local women in big cities all over the US a chance to pack a stage and show that we can.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

I would I would love that. I mean, that is uh, and you do have an you have an amazing lineup for anyone listening who's uh here out of Nashville. Yeah, uh the show is um, I want to say it's March 27th. I'm gonna very good check. Um, March 27th. Yeah, it's a Friday night. I'm very excited. Uh uh let me let me just take a moment and brag about like it's at the LM marketplace here in Nashville. They have a lot of uh they have a lot of stores, I'll be honest, they have a lot of stores that I don't care about, that a lot of people love, a lot of boutiques, a lot of local Nashville-owned, like they make crafts and they sell them at their stores, and their beautiful things would look great in your house. I that's not what I care about. But right under the muses studio, which is where Kiki will be performing, uh, there's a place called uh a Pene Bazane, and it is literally the best spaghetti and pasta um that we have here in Nashville. So, like anytime I have any friends performing at the Muses, if I'm able to like be there, I make it a whole thing. I'm like, I'm gonna go to the show and then I'm gonna go downstairs and get some pasta. And I'm pretty sure they have it worked out where like if you tell them you are at Muses beforehand, you get like a 15 or 20% discount or something. Like, so uh I I cannot stress enough if you're in Nashville, March 27th, that's next week, uh, from when this podcast airs. Uh, let's let's laugh together. It's gonna be a great show, a fantastic lineup, and let's get passed after the show. Like, is it we're doing it, right? True with my twin. Yeah, we're doing it. That'll be so fun. Are you guys like uh do you look exactly alike? Are you the other twins, like the other kind of twin where you're uh not exactly alike?

SPEAKER_01 20:42

We're pretty close. We are identical. We found out when we were 40. It was a big mystery for 40 years, identical or fraternal, because way back in 1975 when we were born, the doctors were like, we don't know, half the half the doctors in the room said identical, half said fraternal, but we took a DNA test at 40, and we're identical. You can probably tell us apart if you know one of us, we can tell we're not like freak freaky, you know.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

You're not like in those uh double mint commercials back in the day.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Um right, but pretty pretty close.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Now, has your twin ever done comedy?

SPEAKER_01 21:21

She it this is so funny. She doesn't want to do comedy, but she's a great supporter, great supporter of my comedy. So some of the shows that are closer to where she lives, she's really rallied her people to come out and support my show. And then one time we got creative with marketing, and I was like, I'll give you a five minute guest spot if you can rally some people. And she's done it twice now, and she did a great job.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

She's she's like a natural that's amazing spotlight hog and like comfortable in front of people, but she sort of she grew up knowing she was always a winner. So Oh, it's you know, it's it's part of it.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

That's not our maiden name. That's my married name.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Oh no, so so she's not a win.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Uh she wishes she could be.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

But that's funny. I forgot about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

I guess. But yeah, so you'll get to meet her, and anybody that comes to the show can take cute selfies with Kiki and her twin and Drew with pasta sauce all over our face. Can you imagine? That's like that.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

Sounds fantastic. That they'll that'll that'll go for a lot of money on on the internet.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Just uh we're probably selling out right now, Drew.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

Yeah, it's it's probably yeah. I'm watching the tickets uh um uh well uh it is gonna be a great show. I'm excited about it. And before uh I there was one thing I wanted to say when you were explaining it that uh I don't if our non-comedian audience members, um it something impressive about what you're saying was about how even when it was your first show for the small room you were selling out and then you ended up selling the bigger room out. Um something I never knew until I was producing shows is honestly how hard it is, uh especially with indie shows, to get butts and seats to sell out. So when when people talk about their shows and they talk about how they were selling it out, and if it's not like a well-established like here in National Lives Danny's shows all the time, and it's got a culture of so many years, and and yeah, that's why people know that place for comedy, and that's wonderful. And so them selling out, but when you're just starting a show somewhere, uh especially when you're not, you know, a name, a household name to sell out a show. Uh, I just realize now not enough people realize what an accomplishment that is. And so good job for you, Kiki, and uh for for anyone who ever wants to produce shows. Uh that that's that's a challenge, but it's a it's a it's a good thing to do. I'm I'm excited that your show is uh come into Nashville, and it sounds like you have a good handle on how to produce them. So good job.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Hey, thanks. Yeah, and while I'm in town, I'm gonna be in another local comedian's show. Uh because you've got something hot going on that Thursday night and your show, and then at Zany's on Monday and Tuesday. I don't even think I've told you I'm extending my trip, so then I'll be at Zany's Monday and Tuesday. So it's gonna be a fun comedy.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

That'll be so much fun, and those will all be uh such different experiences, but all fun and good ones. Uh, I run a little coffee house show. Uh it doesn't take much to fill the room, but they have a good time, and we're we've done it long enough where we are starting to get like a regular audience and uh it's fun. Uh the lineup you're on, uh I is I have a lot of folks that are visiting in, so it's like a really it's better than usual lineup. Those people are gonna get a killer show for just five dollars. Like it's it's gonna be that one out here. Yeah, let's do it, let's do it. Um, and then uh I bet you're doing uh Nateland. Are you doing the good, clean, funny show? Or are you doing the uh new material Monday or or either of those?

SPEAKER_01 24:57

They changed it around. It was three different shows. It was the new material and the is Nateland the same thing or a different one?

SPEAKER_03 25:04

It's a different show. Uh it's and usually it's in so Nateland has a good, clean, funny show. Uh, but it also is a Nateland showcase show. You might be on one of those, but that's in the lab, which is like the room.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Okay, yeah, one was in the lab and one was at the other one.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

Yeah, but both are very fun rooms. Uh I when I watch the shows, I like the lab better because there's more space to sit in. Uh, but performing-wise, uh, they're both like lots of fun. So it's kind of it's kind of more fun. The big room, I mean, they they clump a lot of people together. And so when you're on stage making them all laugh, it's it's a blast. I heard your story with uh Craig Shoemaker. Your intro to him is a fun origin story. So I'd love to hear uh how how that happened. And I also think it's important for comedians to hear how it works sometimes, how we meet people that may lead to more, you know, regular feature work or traveling with bigger headliners, because it it is kind of it is kind of luck, but it's also being the right place at the right time and delivering, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

A hundred percent. And a big thing that especially when I'm speaking to women like in coaching or at a retreat or whatever, I'm a big fan of you gotta shoot your shot when you have it. So my very first ever paid gig at Raleigh Improv. Remember, this is only after three open mics. Then keep it.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

So you're a pro. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah. Doing my first paid show. I think it was like an eight-minute set, probably. But um, we were like the local showcase show that night because Craig Shoemaker was only doing one show at seven o'clock. So he was in the green room after his show. Now, when I was in college, I went to college in Raleigh. Back in that day, Craig Shoemaker, he was like at the peak of his career. He's the Love Master. He was touring all over, he was like in the same cohort as like Seinfeld and those guys. So he was huge back then. And I would go to Goodnight's Comedy Club and watch Craig Shoemaker perform. So then for my first show, I hear that Craig Shoemaker is there. He's on stage finishing his set, then he's in the green room. All the other local comedians are kind of like looking in there, and they're like, oh, Craig is still in there, and then they'll leave again. So I went in there to get a drink out of the refrigerator, and then I was like, Oh my gosh, Craig Shoemaker, I used to go and see you when I was in college. I love your stuff, you're so funny. And then I just kept chatting him up and I was like, guess what? This is my first ever paid show. I'm gonna do a set. Will you stay and watch me? And he was like, Oh. But then I went on stage, I did my set, I came backstage, and Craig was there, and he was like, This is so much like what you and I were talking about before. He was like, Well, you've got it. Like, you've got the package, you've got the energy, the delivery, the material. He was like, that was really good. And I was like, oh my gosh, really? So then we um like said a few more things. Uh I uh DM'd him on Instagram to say thank you. And then I noticed he was following me, and I was like, oh my gosh, he's following me. And then he DM'd me back and we just started a correspondence. And eventually through other conversations and doing some chats and whatever, then he had me open for him just a few months later in Charlotte. So again, at this point, I'm still like seven months into comedy opening for Craig Shoemaker at um the comedy zone in Charlotte. And then I ended up opening for him a whole weekend in Atlanta and then in Raleigh a couple times. But I just really uh I do like that story because it's really neat what he did for an up-and-coming comedian, but also like yeah, the other comedians were just like, oh, he's in there. And I was like, Craig Shoemaker, hey, will you stay and watch my set? And then great things came from it.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

Yeah. And yeah, and I really appreciate what you said about shooting your shot when you have those opportunities. Just you know, you go for it. Um, yeah, and you learn, I feel like in comedy, you learned that a lot. You know, you you the the answer is always no if you don't try, if you don't ask, you know, and and then also like if the answer is no, the world keeps spinning, like it's fine. Uh so we when we have these opportunities, we we need to go for them. And and and and you do it long enough where you start hearing stories like that more common. And so for me, it's always like, why wouldn't it be yes? Like, why wouldn't this could be the time that it might work out? So, you know, it never never hurts to try.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

So that's right. And guess what? Some of this, perhaps some could say, is my impulsivity of just saying things and not being as cautious. But guess what? I forgot, I don't even think I've told you this. That impulsivity led to me making Robin Williams laugh one time.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

That's so cool. Please talk about that. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_03 30:19

That is so cool.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Get ready to really freak out because the like full circle life moments in this story are nuts. So, um, have you seen the movie Patch Adams?

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Okay. So Robin Williams, Patch Adams, he's a medical doctor that really believes that laughter is, you know, as healing as medicine. And so that's the movie, right? So when he was filming that, um, it was in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, which is where I happen to be living, as a 22-year-old. So they were looking for extras for that movie. So I was like looking for a few extra dollars. I signed up. You won't see me in the movie at all. But I was like, Yeah, I was like one of the people that walk on campus. So at some point, all the extras were like standing around waiting to be told what to do. And Robin Williams walks up to us and starts chatting uh with us, like right in front of us, and he's being Robin Williams silly. He's doing like fake accents, like pretending to do different voices and characters. And at one point, he pretends like he's uh tour guide at an art museum and he's showing us different artwork and he's acts like he's showing us the statue David right in front of us. So I reach forward and I say, Oh, can I touch it? And I kind of inappropriately act like I'm reaching for the statue David's um private area, and Robin Williams laughed at me. That's wonderful eye contact, and so that it was already amazing, but then to fast forward to become a psychologist comedian who believes and preaches the healing power of humor is just like mind-boggling. Like, right, how does life hand us that kind of really cool 360 degree moment, right?

SPEAKER_03 32:15

Isn't it interesting how all of our experiences like inform whatever's next for us? Like that. Uh they're always afraid like I have to do things in the set way, you know? Uh, or they they hear about what other comedians do, uh, and they're like, well, this is what I need to do. I know when I first started, a lot of people were like, Well, I have to move to LA or I have to move to New York City, otherwise I won't be a successful comedian. Uh what I've learned through watching other comedians, the successful ones, and even just just just talking to people, just talking to how the career of comedy works, is like everyone's backstory informs kind of the direction that their career takes, you know. Uh, whether it's that's how you come up with your material, or sometimes it's like the skill set you get in your previous job or your current job or whatever, is what makes you the doors open for what you're doing. So uh there's no one size fit all, I guess. But but but yeah. Well, you had mentioned the the the the healing power of humor, uh, and I wanted to jump and talk to you about um you you do a lot of public speaking, you do a lot of sharing uh in your in your doctor world with but incorporating with comedy. And so I'd love to hear more about that and and and everything behind it.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

So yeah, it's it's so neat. It's really just been in the last year, maybe year and change that that speaking has taken off. I've always spoken as a psychologist about different topics, you know, lots of things with parenting and other things. But when I became a comedian and I started to just look into things a little bit more because I realized uh and you probably know this, when you're standing on stage delivering just a great set and you're getting that laughter from the the crowd, then sometimes they're coming up to you after and they're glowing and they're like, this has like been meaningful. Like I was having a tough time, a tough day. And we're also fed as comedians by that laughter. So when I started to just look into this, I realized there's all this research about laughter and humor, like for decades, that it helps our immune system, it helps our pain tolerance, it helps us live longer, it's like reduces anxiety and depression and stress, improves all the good mood, it releases like all the dopamine and good neurotransmitters, and they've studied our brains laughing, and amazing things are going on in our brains when we're laughing. And when I speak, I also talk about how a lot of people don't realize that intentional forced laughter is still good for us. So there's all these exercises you can do almost like yoga and breathing, but with laughter where you're just laughing out loud, and that can still release all the neurotransmitters. So I take people through cheesy uh like laughter exercises when I speak that at first they're all self-conscious to do, but after they do it, they're like, oh my gosh, I actually do feel better. And then the fake laughter leads to real laughter as they're looking around at each other, and and there's always the one person that's doing the crazy over-the-top laugh. But yeah, that's my my current, I guess, side hustle on a side hustle on a side hustle is to do that speaking. And what's cool about it is it translates to any audience. So I've delivered that to psychologists, attorneys. My first keynote in December was very serious government budget association people. So everybody can benefit from that topic of how to pull more laughter into their workplace, especially because we're at work most of us for eight hours a day. So to have more laughter and humor in your workplace is so good for the coach. Yeah, for your team's productivity, it's so good. So I just am now excited to spread that word as much as I can that we should all be pulling that more intentionally into our day-to-day lives. And there's so many easy, short little ways we can all laugh more every day.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

That's a one of my favorite things about doing comedy is you're creating space for this enjoyment for this healthy thing. Then they may have been having a really rough day, and and your jokes might be the best part that just makes it a little bit more bearable. They still may have to go home to their tough situation, but you know, they're a little bit happier.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

So that's right. And and the that reminds me, the other key point I try to remind people is we all know there are moments in life that are just they're just tough, and you just need to grieve or cry. But there are a ton in a given day that you you're at a crossroads. You can choose to be super frustrated, irritated, mad, or find a funny, humorous lens and just laugh at the absurdity of the situation, or make fun of yourself, or you know, like have fun with the other person. I use this a lot in marriage. You know, my husband and I could we could just dig in and and start a fight or say something silly or you know, find a lighthearted jab and then just move on. So I also believe we should find that humorous lens when we can because life is hard enough anyway. So if you can choose uh a way to find the funny, then do it. Do it's gonna benefit you.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

Um here's a random question. Uh, if you could give any one tip to stand up comedians, like new comedians, and like they magically understand it. Like, I know sometimes we can give advice and no one takes it, but in this case, you're gonna get to say it and everyone will get it. What would be your one tip for new comedians?

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Oh gosh. Um can I cheat and do two that are in a tie in my brain?

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Sure, we'll say two.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

They're short, but two came to mind, and one is practical and one is more from the heart. So the practical one is I really believe everyone should write out their set um instead of just having the idea of it with maybe some scribbled notes. Maybe this is the type A and me, maybe this is the business person, but I have my sets written out, and then you know, I go through them, I time them, I want them to be like solid. Um, so I do believe you should take the time to write it out the way you want to say it. And then you you can tweak, you know, the phrasing some, but I do believe you should write it. And then number two, the one from the heart is I really encourage comedians to be authentic to their story, their voice, their personality. Because I've had advice that I should try more one-liners or more like quick setup punchline. And my style just isn't that. My style is uh I'm an observer of life. So my bits aren't quick setup punchline or clever, you know, one-liners. It's so let me tell y'all about going for ADHD testing as an adult and then having funny in that. But I do think you should be true to your voice, your style, and who you are. Because if you try to adopt somebody else's, it just never lands with the audience. You're not gonna get laughs, even if the other person did it the same way. If it's not authentic to you, it's just not gonna resonate with the audience.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Absolutely. And that's a big part of the comic process is understanding and learning your voice. Uh, and what's really fun is if you do it long enough, um, you start noticing your voice shifts a little bit. Um, and you kind of have to adapt to that. When I first started, uh, I I absolutely was like a setup and punch, you know, comic. Like Jim Gaffigan's one of my favorite comedians. I used to always love how he got those quick laughs. And so that was a lot of a lot of my earlier stuff uh is just the setup and punch. Uh but then a few years ago, my I just when I wrote new material, it was gravitating more to storytelling style. And it wasn't wasn't something I planned on doing, but it's just, you know, and it to to to to kind of echo what you're saying, it's like you got to be true to your authentic self, whatever, whatever's you're coming up with, lean into that. And um, and yeah, that's a good point. So it's so true.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

And what you're passionate about, I find that in both worlds, because when I was in the throes of parenting, I was really passionate about my child psychology practice talking to parents and talking about my parenting book. Um, and parenting, parenting, and now this season of my life, I still care about my parenting book, but I'm passionate now about like comedy and the certain things that crack me up at this stage in life. So it's also like what excites you when you sit down to start writing something or to think about being on stage. I think that's a good sign of a good set, is if I can't wait to have my name called, be introduced, and get out there and see how my material is gonna land with the audience. Like, that's a good feeling. You should still be excited by your own material.

SPEAKER_03 41:55

Yeah, at the very least, the starting point should be like, Well, I think it's funny. I like this, you know, like that's it. That's you know, the the skill comes in where because sometimes we write something that maybe doesn't do as well, and then we tweak it and we learn to make it funny for everyone else. But the start of a good joke is like, this brought me joy, you know, like this was it, yeah. So um, so you you do so much and you're so busy, and you have a uh you you have like uh uh amazing career and comedy, uh, and it sounds like you still do both. Uh so how how do you uh balance being so busy and productive in your work life with as you've been developing more with your comedy life? Does it ever do you ever feel like they conflict? Uh, are you are you able to do it in a way because it sounds like you work remotely, or do you do you're able to do it where like you can balance the two, or or does sometimes it just suck because it's like I don't have enough time for all this stuff?

SPEAKER_01 42:49

When I'm speaking to women, I often say, I think I heard this from Oprah, that you can't have it all um at once, but in the meaning in the same day, but I do believe you can have it all in a week. So for me, my mindset is yes, I still am pretty busy running my private practice, and that's a lot. It's four locations. Um, and as you know, doing anything in comedy, producing shows or just prepping for the next show is a lot and speaking and blah blah blah. But my mindset is in a given day, there's some days I am not gonna check the social box at all or enough downtime or exercise or laundry or dishes ever. I'll never check dishes. But if for me, it's like in the week, I want to make sure I'm checking the boxes and I've made some time for my spiritual life and for my physical fitness and for seeing, you know, my best friend. So that's my mindset: is I do, I am very type A. Which I know is unusual in the comedy world. I found out that there's a lot of creatives that are like, ah, the show in two days. You want to know when to show up and where your place is in the lineup? Like, what? So I am type A. I have my days pretty mapped out, but it is back to that intentional mindset of just saying, today I'm going to need to do some promotion for Ladies' Left Lounge in Nashville. I'm going to announce my lake retreat. I'm going to handle these new client emails. I went and I had dinner with my mom because I needed to see her and check on her and bond with my spring break college kids. So I've done a lot today, but it's just that mindful intentionality for yeah, we all get the 24 hours. So how am I going to maximize each hour that I get?

SPEAKER_03 44:49

Yeah, I love that. And that's very uh for me, that's very helpful to hear about the whole maybe you can't get it done today, but you can get it done this week. Uh I am I'm learning to adjust, having gone from full-time comedy where I could be super on it with responding to emails, super on it with booking requests, super on it, on it, because you know I that was, but now, like for the first eight hours of my day, Monday through Friday, I have a job that's demanded and has responsibilities. And so now it's like I do in the evening have comedy time, but a lot of stuff, you know, what is that like three or four hours in the evening that I can put the comedy? Uh sometimes it involves going out or filming a podcast, or you know, like so uh I've learning to be okay with the fact that sometimes I don't respond to people till the weekend, and that's right. They'll live, you know, they'll be fine. So that's right.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Yes. If they want you, the opportunity is usually still there a few days later.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

Yes, absolutely. Um, and then I guess the last question from me before I before we give you the opportunity to answer random people's questions, uh which is which is fun. Um, you talked about your social mock. So when you're not doing comedy and when you're not being a psychologist and taking care of people's needs, uh when you're doing just fun stuff, I know you talk maybe it's the extreme sports you talked about before, which I didn't I didn't know. I didn't I didn't know that about you either. But like what yeah, what's what's fun? What's what's what do you do to when you're not doing all this?

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Yeah, so not too much adrenaline uh sports or activities at this age. I usually I do like to travel. I'm passionate about travel, and I I say I collect countries like most women collect purses. Like I'd rather spend my money on travel than clothes or purses or jewelry. So a big, big world traveler. Um, and that's where I've done some cool adrenaline things, always planning the next trip.

SPEAKER_03 46:43

What's uh one of the coolest places you've been or coolest things you've done at the coolest places? Like, what do you have like one thing that just man, this is uh story?

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Gosh, that's really hard. Somebody just asked me that this weekend because I I I like to track all the countries I've been to, and I've been to 34. So I told her it was like choosing my favorite child, like it's really hard to do, but I liked being um stranded in Iceland, like we had a flight, a connecting flight in Iceland from Europe to go home, and we were stranded, and at first we had that airport fury where we're like this is unacceptable, we have to get home to North Carolina, do something, and they're like, You are stuck, and then we're like, Well, you said you'll put us up in a hotel and give us a money voucher or a restaurant voucher. Okay, so we had the best time in I said we went to the lagoon where you're in that hot springs lagoon and doing the cold plunge, and I swam up to a bar in the lagoon to have my champagne looking out over stunning water. So I think it's oh, that's so cool. That are sometimes some of the coolest, too.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

Yeah, when you're not expecting it to be as odd, and and and also part of you is kind of like what you're saying earlier. You have the crossroads, you could be really upset and angry and worried and nervous, or you'd be like, Well, here I am, and then you end up having an amazing experience, and then you still get to go home, you know, the next day or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

That's right, a hundred percent. So, yeah, travel, and then I am a runner and love movies. I'm going to South by Southwest Film Festival um in Austin, Texas. This this this week. Well, this week, it won't be this week.

SPEAKER_03 48:30

This week in real life when people listen to this a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 48:33

So film is really cool, uh, trivia. There's like lots of fun to be had. Uh yeah. I'm never wanting.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

That's good. Well, I mean, it is clear, uh it's clear to see the the the the joy that radiates from you. Like you just seem like a happy person that enjoys fun, right? So and that and that's good. That's that's and that's how you stay being a happy person, is you continue to enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

So that's right. Yeah, life is good.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. So uh we're uh entering the part the ask a comedian section of our show. So uh for for those of you that are wondering, uh uh through Facebook, through Instagram, through threads, through even you could just drop down and and there's an option on anything that you're listening to us where you can just send us a question. Uh basically, it's if you want me to ask the comedians anything, I keep a list of questions. Um, and then when it's their turn on their episode, uh they give me a number. And so, Kiki, you the today you're gonna be three numbers okay between one and um 39. Excuse me, 38, one and 38. Uh, and that will dictate which question I ask. And again, to anyone listening, you're more than welcome to send in your questions and we'll add it to our list. And who knows, it may get answered next week.

SPEAKER_01 49:53

Fun. Okay, let's do number nine.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

Number nine. All right. This one comes in from threads, uh, from Brian Akerson, who's a comedian we had on early act earlier on this podcast. Um, top three anything. It can be in movies, comedy specials, songs, albums, supreme court justices, or whatever you want. Top three anything.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Okay. Um, maybe it's because I've been fasting for Lent. I'm gonna do my top three desserts.

SPEAKER_03 50:21

Okay, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 50:23

Okay, it's gonna go three, two, one, where one's gonna be my favorite.

SPEAKER_03 50:27

So the last one you say will be number one. Is that what you're saying? Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_01 50:30

Yes. Okay, number three is gonna be um just a good white on white cake, like you get at weddings, just that delicious, yummy white cake with white frosting. Yum yum.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Yeah, yes. Number two, cookies, but especially crumble cookies. Do y'all have crumble where you are?

SPEAKER_03 50:52

We do, yeah. I recently had them for the first time. Very good.

SPEAKER_01 50:55

I'm obsessed.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Yeah, they're good.

SPEAKER_01 50:58

They're giant, it's like eight people can share one for their dinner and be fine.

SPEAKER_03 51:03

They could, or one or two people could eat them.

SPEAKER_01 51:09

Okay, then my number one dessert category is ice cream, but within that best favorite of all time will always be a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

SPEAKER_03 51:21

Wow. Okay. Uh yeah, yes, we have Dairy Queen here in Nashville as well.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Blizzards.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

I I shouldn't have been so shocked by that because on one hand, they are delicious, but I just feel like the other ones you mentioned were like so elegant and high-class dessert. And then the last one was Dairy Queen Blizzard, which proves that like you can't beat the basics. You get, you know, we don't want to reinvent the wheel here. Just give me a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

SPEAKER_01 51:45

Uh right, yeah, any time of day. I mean, they're probably still open where I am until 10 p.m. So I could go to the drive-thru right now.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

I think that sounds like a great like post-podcast activity for you. Like, you reward yourself with a blizzard.

SPEAKER_01 52:00

Now, do you do chocolate or vanilla or strawberry, which I I would judge you a little bit, but for the base of the ice cream, always vanilla, but then I like any seasonal anything. So, like a Easter chocolate extreme with Heath and whatever, or a brownie batter. I like the crazy ones that have like 12 things inside of it.

SPEAKER_03 52:21

I like getting stuff that's different. I don't always like I'm I don't do it, I'm not one of those like every time I get vanilla ice cream. It's like if you're right, it's if there's like a seasonal thing, I gotta try that. So yeah, yeah. Good answers. Well, Kiki, thank you so much for being on the show uh and chatting with me. This is a fun, good conversation. Uh, I was also appreciating your your backdrop, your house, and that is that was that is that a bookshelf, or is that like your front door?

SPEAKER_01 52:47

I'm in my dining room where there's more stability with the table, and this is just like the little dining room thing that we never touch, but that has the pretty glasses. And yeah, right. Here's my wine collection. So, yeah, and then yeah, here's my precious children when they were still little.

SPEAKER_03 53:07

Yeah, they're old and decrepit. No, not down to decrepit, but old and not little anymore.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

They're not, they're all grown, but I'm happy my 20-year-old is in the house right now for spring break, so I can go say hi to her after. She's still cute.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

She she might she might want to uh do a dairy queen run with you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 53:24

She it's my 22-year-old that's obsessed. If she were here, she would hear us through the the ceiling.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

Uh sense it.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

She would say, wait, is mom talking about dairy queen?

SPEAKER_03 53:35

That's funny. Uh well, Kiki, do you have anything you'd like to plug or tell us about or you know, before we go, tell the world, you know?

SPEAKER_01 53:44

Well, we've talked about the uh March 27th at the Muse Studio, ladies' life lounges hitting Nashville. Those uh links are on my social media, um, or people can go to my website, my Kiki's Comedy Club uh website. Uh and in general, just for like booking, I am enjoying doing speaking and coaching and performing. So just for booking, people can DM me or email me um Kiki Comedy 2.0 at gmail. That's for the second career, a little nod to something new. Yeah. And then if anybody wants to know just about more of my serious um psychologist work or for like speaking through that, then I also have my practice website, winsfamily psychology.com, uh, with my last name, W White N N S for all the things. So, and then if anybody happens to be listening in my area, Ladies Laugh Lounge Spring Fever edition is April 9th here at Goodnight's Comedy Club. So we're gearing up for that too. Two ladies laugh shows this spring.

SPEAKER_03 54:58

Is part of your does part of your site have like just the links to the upcoming ladies' laugh lounge is is that something that okay? So what we'll do is on in our descriptions, we'll have where you can we'll have Kiki's website where you can connect with her on social media, but then we'll also have a ladies' laugh lounge link too. So if you're in either North Carolina or in Nashville, uh or anywhere in the world that you want to be in, uh, and you're like, man, I really want to go to a ladies' laugh lounge, uh, well, you could click that link, unless this is like a thousand years in the future and we're not here anymore, and then I don't know what to tell you. Uh, maybe there'll be one online you can watch.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

Uh we'll we'll have been taken upstairs to heaven, right? We know Earth's solid, we know we don't know where the rest of y'all are that say all the time.

SPEAKER_03 55:45

But if you're still here and you're burning in the rapture, but you but maybe there's some comedy you can go check out. I like to think one of the late one of the ladies who didn't make it will keep the keep the torch going. Uh that's a really weird I can think of.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

We'll still be here keeping the torch going.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

Yeah, well, you gotta keep those laugh lounges. Uh that they need it now more than ever. Um, in the post-apocalyptic world. This is a weird way to end the podcast. So, yeah. Well, uh before before we go, I always want to give you guys a reminder too. Uh, cleancomedycollective.com. Uh, you can see our previous episodes, you can check out uh more information about Kiki and all of our comedians. She's in the North Carolina section, but you can check out many states uh to find your new favorite comedian. You can, if you're a comedian who works clean and wants to learn more about neck working with us, you can connect to the through our website. You can go see what shows we have coming up this month. Um, and there's an option where you can join our Patreon or donate money if you're just like, wow, this is such an amazing podcast. I just want to give them all my money. I want to, I'm gonna leave my family in rags so that I can help the Clean Comedy Collective. There's a donate section, I won't tell uh if you do that, uh, but you maybe should leave some for your family. Uh anyway. This was a great chat, Kiki. Thank you so much for being uh with us.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Thank you, Drew. It was a pleasure.

SPEAKER_03 57:08

It it was. This was a good chat. Uh, and we will see you all next week for our next chat. Have a great day.

unknown 57:17

You're welcome.